grasping beauty.


 Crackling bonfires in the dark on humid evenings, crisp mornings ringed with light, barefeet on hot gravel, dewy grass and rough sand, lemonade stands and (small) sticky fingers, streams and lakes and pools and oceans, rippling, sparkling and flowing in the sun, sheets of air tumbling down, tossing your hair -- are a few fleeting moments that have entwined themselves around my heart.  


Through streams of memories that have been recollected, my heart aches. I don't want to live in the past but oh, how I want those memories to re-occur. A small clock ticks.  Time fleets. This moment imprints itself hard on my heart and I can't help but wonder why I live the way I live and why it's so hard to live fully.  A glowing sun swirls to a sunset and a day is past. Human life consist of roughly 25,000 days and yet most of the time beauty in life slips past - wrong choices are made and life isn't chosen to live intentionally.   


Beauty unravels ever-so-slowly into my hands.  In a plethora of Anatomy and Physiology tests, essay assignments, chapters to read, dishes to wash, appointments to attend, I ache -- and I don't see beauty in life.  I see a mess.  I see hardships and trials. I reach for beauty, grasping it barely by the ends of my finger tips, then it slips out of my grasp: beautiful moments fleet.  


Today, beauty sojourns itself in the palms of my hands through my efforts: pulling on a smile, baking a cake, turning up the music just a little bit louder, keeping the Bible open, finishing homework, drinking lemon+ginger tea, running in an open field, breathing in fresh air and realizing to breathe is a gift, lighting a candle for the sake of being still and dissolving into and being enveloped by beauty, embracing opportunity and living intentionally. 

where do you find beauty? 

xo.

ps  My camera is still missing.  I'm thinking someone stole it when we were on an away-day with our church. (Also, my favourite H&M turquoise blue cardigan also went missing on the same day my camera did...) You should be seeing photos from my archives till I get the T3! :)